Helping Your Grieving Child

In the midst of the busyness of the holiday season, the rituals and traditions that families have can often trigger feelings of grief and loss if a loved one has recently died, moved, or is otherwise absent. This can show up as sadness, irritability, questions, behavior and mood changes, and/or difficulty concentrating.

For young children, they do not understand the permanence of death and may repeat the same questions. It is best to try to keep a consistent routine, offer lots of nurturing and reassurance, and answer questions in a short and honest manner. It’s also important to avoid euphemisms like “passed away,” or “lost”; rather, try to use the actual words death/died, or factual phrases like “their body stopped working.”

With older children, they often take responsibility for the death and think it’s their fault. Again, it’s important to keep consistent routines to establish safety and security, as well as creating an open space for them to express themselves verbally or in a creative way through play or art.

For teens, who can better understand the permanence of death, they can sometimes have more questions about what happened to their person or deeper questions about spirituality, the meaning of life, or what happens after death. It’s important to keep conversations open and honest and invite questions without judgment or trying to fix or take away their emotions.

During holidays, birthdays, or other important family events, it can be helpful to invite older children and teens to have input on how to honor or memorialize their person in a meaningful way. If they do not want to have a part in this, that is okay, too. As a parent or caregiver, be sure to try to find time for yourself to rest and care for yourself, as this also models self-care for the kids in your care. It’s okay to ask for help if you need it—your grief matters, too.

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*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product(s) is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.