Children's Grief Awareness Month

The month of November is recognized as Children’s Grief Awareness Month, a time to bring attention to the unique needs of children who have experienced death and loss. According to the National Alliance for Children’s Grief, 1 in 11 children will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. In North Dakota, that number nearly doubles by age 25 (Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model, Judi’s House, 2022).

The effects of childhood bereavement can be profound, impacting school performance, relationships, and emotional well-being. Yet it’s important to remember that grief itself is not a problem to be solved. It is a natural, human response to loss. Children don’t need their grief “fixed,” but they do need our understanding, honesty, and steady support.

Here are some meaningful ways to support grieving children:

1. Talk openly and clearly about death.

Children need concrete language, not euphemisms like “passed away” or “lost.” Their developing brains are still learning how to understand abstract ideas, including the permanence of death. Using words such as death, dead, and dying helps them make sense of what has happened and prevents confusion or misunderstandings.

2. Be honest.

It’s natural to want to protect children from painful truths, especially when we are grieving ourselves. But avoiding the subject can create fear, anxiety, or even mistrust. Sharing honest, age-appropriate information helps children feel included and safe. Even when the circumstances of a death are difficult, such as suicide or substance use, truthful, compassionate explanations help build resilience and trust.

3. Expect the conversation to continue.

Children often revisit their grief as they grow. They may ask the same questions again or wonder if their person is coming back. This is part of how they process loss as their understanding deepens. Be patient and open to returning to the topic over time.

4. Involve them in remembrance and ritual.

Goodbyes and remembrance rituals are important for children, too. Allow them to attend the funeral or memorial if they wish, and include them in decisions about how to honor their loved one. They might draw a picture to place in the casket, choose a song, or help plan a small family ritual on anniversaries or holidays. These acts help them feel connected and supported in their grief.

Where there is grief, there was first love and connection. When we give children space to express grief openly, and maintain the love and connection, we help them build the foundation for lifelong emotional health.

For more information on supporting a child or teen who is grieving, visit the National Alliance for Children's Grief at www.nacg.org or the Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families at www.dougy.org.