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Attunement With Children



Attunement is our ability to recognize and respond to our children’s needs. There are many studies that show that this response is connected to emotional attachment to each other. Attunement begins in infancy when we meet our children’s basic needs for things such as food, safety, and a place to sleep. Attunement also can be built through things such as skin to skin contact with our child. But attunement isn’t only built-in infancy and stop there. These are things that you can build through out their life thought meeting children’s basic needs and responding appropriately to their feelings.


Once attunement is established, you can then help your child do things such as reground or reregulate your child by slowing your heart rate. Their heartrate (due to attunement) will match yours and they will also begin to calm their bodies.


Children need our help to understand and label their own emotions. Things such as mirroring and reflecting emotions are ways used to help children to make sense of their feelings. Reflecting big feelings such as anger with a statement like “Sometimes it can be difficult to share our toys with our siblings” or “Sometimes it can be frustrating to wait for others to finish what they’re doing.” Can help children to begin to identify the feelings they are feeling and then we can help them to respond to that appropriately. As they get older, you have already laid the groundwork to help them to communicate more complex feelings.



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