Helping Siblings Adjust to a New Baby

Whether it’s your first time adding a sibling to your family or your fourth (or more!), welcoming a new baby is a major transition for everyone. While newborns bring joy, cuddles, and that irresistible new baby smell, they also shift the rhythm of family life. And for older siblings, that shift can be both exciting and unsettling. The good news is that with a bit of planning and empathy, you can help smooth the path for your older children as they adjust to life with a new brother or sister.

Prepare Ahead of Time

A little preparation goes a long way. Talking about what to expect before the baby arrives can help alleviate some of the anxiety that comes with change. Let your older children know about any upcoming changes to the routine, such as a new bedroom setup or different morning drop-off schedules. If possible, make these adjustments a few weeks (or even months) in advance so your child has time to adapt before baby comes home.

This is also a great time to soak up extra one-on-one time with each child. Whether it’s a special outing or simply reading a few extra books at bedtime, filling their "love tanks" can give them a strong emotional foundation to draw from when your attention inevitably gets pulled in new directions.

Consider Developmental Stages

Kids of different ages will react in different ways, and knowing what to expect can help you support them effectively.

Elementary-age kids and older often have a better understanding of the big picture. They’re usually more patient and can grasp that you might need a few minutes before you can help them. Many kids this age enjoy feeling helpful, so consider giving them age-appropriate tasks like refilling the diaper caddy, folding baby blankets, or choosing a book for baby’s tummy time.

Toddlers, on the other hand, may have a harder time understanding why you suddenly can’t be available at the exact moment they want you. For them, time is immediate and needs feel urgent. You might find it helpful to prepare a special “big sibling basket” filled with toys, books, or snacks they can access during feeding or nap times. Even rotating the items occasionally can keep things fresh and engaging.

Make Time for Each Child

Carving out individual time with each child, even in small doses, can go a long way in helping them feel secure and seen. One practical way to do this is by switching off bedtime routines with your partner, if possible. Maybe one of you handles the baby while the other reads with your older child or listens to them share about their day. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; even 10–15 minutes of focused, undistracted time can be incredibly meaningful.

Celebrate the New Role

Helping your older children feel proud and excited about their new role as big sibling can also ease the transition. You might gift them a “big sibling” shirt or let them choose a special toy to give the baby. Look for moments to affirm them: “You were so gentle when you gave the baby that toy,” or “I’m so proud of how patient you were while I was feeding your brother.”

Change is always an adjustment, but it also opens the door for growth for you and your children. By preparing ahead, being sensitive to your child’s developmental stage, and continuing to nurture your bond with each sibling, you’re creating a loving, connected family environment where everyone has space to thrive, even in the chaos of life with a newborn.

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